as we go through each ...
... transitional phase in our lives, we will certainly encounter either good or bad influence - though i would prefer to call bad influence as peer pressure while the good as peer influence...
who & what influence us? our parents, relatives, friends, teachers, mentors, religion, the media, circumstances, almost everything! the direction in which these people would point us to could either be positive or negative.. in other words, we should not take for granted that parents will always point us to the things that are right because there are parents who are bad influence to their children.. example, a father who smokes brings across the message to his child that it is ok to smoke... or some extreme religious/cults leader who led their followers in mass suicide to "enter heaven"...
while of course the common peer pressure usually come from friends & the media, where we are constantly challenged by the question: "are you in or are you out?" if we don't dress, talk or behave like them - we are out of the group.. if we don't try this or do that - we are losers.. only statement like "been there, done that" would get us a place in the group. exactly what do we get out of being under such peer pressure? better character? no.. don't think so... self esteem & the sense of belonging to a group? yes.. perhaps.. but what for? what's there to be proud of yourself when you can smoke & not die of lung cancer? or take drugs but not get caught? or could drink & not get drunk? or have pre-marital sex & not be pregnant? what good are these friends anyway?!
isn't peer influence (ie. good influence) something a lot better? then why do we subject ourselves to peer pressure? the choice is yours but it is important to recognize that it is sometimes necessary to say "NO" in order to make good decisions...
John says: "Dear friend, don't let this bad example influence you. Follow only what is good. Remember that those who do good prove that they are God's children, and those who do evil prove that they do not know God."
3 John 1:11
have you consider what kind of impact it would have on the people closest to us or the things around us when we succumb to peer pressure?
what say you? post your comments now!
posted by 3notessteelstrings @ 22:39
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The phone rings. "Mr Tan, I am the form teacher of your son. This morning, your son was caught stealing a wallet in school...." Dad had a shocked look, Mom started to swear at the top of her voice questioning why her teenage son need to resort to stealing. After much interrogation, the boy said that he wanted money to buy cigarettes. His bad peers had encouraged him to smoke and told him smoking is cool and desirable. He was addicted to smoking and in a moment of folly, he stole the money to satisfy his desires.
The teenager truly regreted his action and want to change for the good. But his classmates started gossiping about him, slowly drift away from him, he felt isolated and helpless. News of the incident spread quickly and the whole school knows about it. A month later, a handphone went missing, and fingers were quick to point at him. Life in school became tough and he wished he had not steal in the first place. But what has happened can never be reversed.
It is not only about him, his parents would feel hurt and disappointed and doubt their methods of educating their child. It created mistrust between him and his parents. Parents start to clamp down hard on him fearing that he would do it again. Instead of helping the situation, things could worsen and the kid could go back to his old ways and feeling that repentance is futile and unappreciated. This is not a Channel 8 drama serial and it is something real and could happened to anyone when we succumb to peer pressure. For married couples, adultery is an act which could bring forth such consequences.
We might ask why did the boy took up smoking and resort to stealing. When we are young we are in the process of searching and establishing our own identity in this society. We want to feel accepted and liked by the people around us. We do that cos we want to please our peers and parents and seek their recognition. It is tough saying "no" when your bad peers pressure you. But the child is seeking the wrong role model. If he has GOD in his heart, he would not succumb to peer pressure and instead have the courage to say "no" for he wants to please GOD by not smoking.
Proverbs 13
24 He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Research has shown that the first 6 years of a child is crucial, the things and values that they learnt in the 6 years shaped up 80% of their future character. Parents played a major role in shaping their children and it would be foolish and irresponsible to blame the schools when they do wrong. You would have notice that a child is a quick learner and they are learning your habits, good and bad, without your knowledge. We are born into this world not knowing what is right or wrong. You would seen kids resorting to brute force to snatch toys from another. It is our duty as adults/parents to teach them the right values and ensure that we disclipline them if they do wrong. As 3notes quoted John saying that "Follow only what is good". Unless we educate the children what is "good" they would not be able to differentiate what is good or bad.
Media plays a massive role in shaping the value of the young ones. Most of the TV programmes and movies we watched do not correctly portrayed the real life. Many youths are influenced by media thinking that smoking is cool, premarital sex is a norm and etc. There is no way we could stop them from watching TV and movies, reading junk magazines, we could only ensure that we teach them the right values when they are young and hope that they have a strong and analytical mind to discern what is good or bad for them. GOD gives us free will to choose what we want to believe and do, ultimately we have to bear whatever consequences our actions bring forth.
You would have asked why are those people so foolish to have committed mass suicide? Reason: At that point of time they sincerely believe that they could really go to heaven! The people around them keep preaching the same message and over time they were brainwashed into thinking that it is true. Thus choose your friends wisely, for bad peers would bring you calamity one day and good peers would prosper you.
Some might ask "I dont know how I should teach and disclipline my children, cos I am a 1st time parent" I believe that you could depend and seek GOD's wisdom and words. Proverbs and Eccclesiastes contains wisdom that could be useful.
TT
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